Do men naturally need sexual variety? Are males hard wired to require sex from multiple partners? Is monogamy something unnatural to humans and especially males? Or are men conditioned by society to think that chasing and conquering sexually is how to simply BE male?
Anytime I get into this debate, someone inevitably brings up the animal argument. So, let’s deal with this argument first. The argument is that humans are just upright animals, doomed to behave and function like animals in a pursuit of sex at all costs. I respectfully disagree.
While it’s true that humans do have some things in common with mammals, and science has placed us broadly into the animal kingdom, human beings are not the same as animals. I wonder if people would make the argument that dogs are the same as cats or dolphins are the same as sparrows? All of these species are unique and behave in vastly different ways. I wouldn’t expect a dolphin to behave like a sparrow or interact with their environment the same way. We have no issue recognizing the differences between these creatures, but when we point out that humans are different from animals, folks get really wound up. Why?
To make the statement or observation isn’t to diminish the value or beauty of all other creatures. It is simply a clearly observable and easily recognizable fact. No animal has ever created a car or a laptop, traveled into space or built a pyramid. Why would we say that we are the same?
Do humans prefer to liken themselves to animals in order to justify selfish and destructive behavior that is otherwise socially unacceptable because of it’s deceptiveness?
Which brings us back to the original question. Is the pursuit and conquest of many sexual partners something hard wired into humans and especially males? I’m not male, but I believe that sexual predation in humans is conditioned behavior not innate. Further I would argue that males and females both have a profound and natural desire to experience a deep mental and emotional connection (i.e. love).
According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, Love is one of the basic needs required by humans. This theory of Human Motivation remains a very popular framework in sociology research and psychology instruction.
Oddly, however, despite the fact that love is a universal human need, men are socialized to primarily seek sex while woman are socialized to seek love.
What do you think? Is monogamy unnatural to humans? Are male humans wired differently from females or are they socialized differently?